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בס״ד
לזכות רפואה שלמה למלכה בת יוטא ציפורה
Hock Less,Matches More
The less we talk about shidduchim, the more shidduchim there will be. If you hear that someone is dating or getting engaged, don't pass it on, even if it's true. When we guard our tongue, in that zechus more shidduchim will be made.
אין הברכה שורה אלא בדבר הסמוי מן העין
Bracha rests only on what is hidden from the eye.
Taanis 8b
It's not just not nice.
It's lashon hara.
Passing on who is dating, who is getting engaged, or something a friend told you in confidence isn't only unkind. It can be an issur d'Oraisa of lashon hara and rechilus.
לֹא תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּיךָ
Vayikra 19:16
"Do not go about as a talebearer among your people." Even when it's true.
מניין לאומר דבר לחבירו שהוא בבל יאמר עד שיאמר לו לך אמור, שנאמר: וַיְדַבֵּר ה' אֵלָיו מֵאֹהֶל מוֹעֵד לֵאמֹר
Yoma 4b, on Vayikra 1:1
You may not repeat what someone told you until they say you may. Even Moshe Rabbeinu needed permission.
דברים אשר בסתמא אסור אחר כך לגלות לאחר, פן יוכל להגיע לו על ידי זה היזק או צער
Chofetz Chaim, Hilchos Lashon Hara, Klal 2, Se'if 13
Private matters may not be repeated, since it could cause harm or distress.
וחייב אדם להסתיר הסוד אשר יגלה לו חבירו דרך סתר, אף על פי שאין בגילוי הסוד ההוא ענין רכילות
Chofetz Chaim, Hilchos Rechilus, Klal 8, Se'if 5
Keep a secret a friend told you, even when it isn't rechilus. Revealing it can ruin her plans.
For a specific question, ask your Rav.
How it works
1
Read the weekly comic
A new short comic every week, each one based on a true story.
2
Take the kabbalah
Commit, bli neder, not to pass on who is dating or getting engaged.
3
Share the comic, not the news
Send the comic to friends. Let every couple share their own simcha.
The weekly comic
Press play, or use the arrows to see past weeksבס״ד
לזכות רפואה שלמה
למלכה בת יוטא ציפורה
למלכה בת יוטא ציפורה
Tap to play
The Hock Less kabbalah קבלה
Bli neder, I will not pass on who is dating or who is getting engaged, even if I heard it and even if it's true. Their news is theirs to share. In this zechus, may all our friends find their zivug b'karov.
Hock less, matches more
What to say instead
Someone asks if she's dating
I'm not sure, and it's really her news to share.
Someone starts a rumor
Let's not guess. When there's a simcha, we'll hear.
A friend tells you a secret
Thanks for trusting me. It stays with me.
Everyone is talking about someone
Can we talk about something else?
This week's challenge
Heard that someone is dating? Let it stop with you. Don't repeat it to even one person.
A new challenge every Tuesday.
Turn talk into tefillah
Instead of asking who's dating, daven for her. Say a kapitel of Tehillim for a friend in shidduchim, l'zechus her finding her zivug b'karov.
כל המבקש רחמים על חבירו והוא צריך לאותו דבר, הוא נענה תחלה
Whoever davens for a friend while needing the same thing is answered first. (Bava Kamma 92a)
- Tap the button and type your name for tefillah, like Sarah bas Rivka, and your email.
- You get an email with the name of another girl in shidduchim.
- You daven for her, and she davens for you.
It's completely private. No names are ever shown on this website. You'll get just one name, and only your partner gets yours.
Got engaged? Mazel tov! Let your tefillah partner know, so she can get a new one.
I got engaged
Stories from our readers
Names and details are always changedGet it every week
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Sources Taanis 8b · Vayikra 19:16 · Yoma 4b (Vayikra 1:1) · Chofetz Chaim, Lashon Hara 2:13 · Chofetz Chaim, Rechilus 8:5 · Mishlei 11:13 · Bava Kamma 92a